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Long Distance Relationships VS. Close Distance Marriages

6/28/2017

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​Everyone's love story is different, but how many have started over the internet or miles apart from the other person? Well, current statistics say about 10% of relationships start out long distance before marriage. This post is not only to pique the interest of those that are considering a long distance relationship, but also for a smaller minority. I'm talking about those that will one day marry that long distance boyfriend or girlfriend and how the dynamics of romance can change as well as how you view your relationship once you have the freedom to be with that person with no miles separating you anymore.

I know the heartache, the longing, the waiting that comes with long distance relationships. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. But I also know that it's best to know where the relationship is going and what that would look like. In fact, 70% of long distance relationships that don't plan for change, fail. It's a sad fact, but there's just so much to consider. And if you end up marrying that person, the reality is that someone will have to move and you DEFINITELY want to be on the same page with them.

Ryan and I fall into that tiny little margin that I mentioned earlier, but we also make up probably an even smaller group of couples: long distance before marriage, and then working with each other at the same job once married. So picture this if you will. Imagine being 1,000 miles away from the person you adore, for 2.5 years, then you marry them, and within in a year and a half, you are working 10 steps away from them in an office 4+ days a week.

Some couples can never imagine working with their spouse, and others do it with what seems to be completely no effort (i.e. TV Magic: Chip & Joanna Gaines, lol). I can tell you that I never expected to work with my husband, so I didn't exactly know how to handle it. Everyone sees this goofy, passionate, logical, talented, constantly hungry guy that is Ryan. Which really, all those qualities are true. People ask me, "Is he like this at home?" I reply with "Pretty much." But do you ever notice when you get married that all your spouses qualities some how become stronger and more noticeable as you live with them and spend more time doing life with them?  And look, before you think I'm just throwing Ryan under the bus, the same goes for me! Most people see my organized, chill, note-taking, question-asking, cello-playing self. I am all those things, but again, both my positive and negative qualities can come out when someone spends more time with me. Just ask my boss, he may wanna add in a few other crazy qualities that I forgot to list. Lol.

What I'm getting at is, living with your spouse after marriage can turn up your sensitivity and cause you to see the qualities of your spouse in stronger ways that are hard to handle. On the flip side, you can also see some amazing and beautiful qualities come out in them as well! But add another level of life, such as working with them, spending even MORE time with them, and you can click the sensitivity up like 5 more notches. 

I have had my moments with Ryan at work. And you have to understand our work environment isn't even the typical office environment! Another unique thing about our life. We work at a church. He and I are the only ones working in the office during the week other than Pastor Marvin, our lead pastor. 

​In the past, our co-worker and friend, Jason, was a bit of a buffer between me and Ryan. He shared an office with Ryan, and only by the grace of God are they friends, 'cause they are nothing alike! Hahaha. But either way, Ryan would share most of his antics and thoughts on the job with Jason. Now that it's just me and Ryan...well, let's just say my little social butterfly husband is looking for someone else to shoot the breeze with at work. 

My personality at work can be rather cold with Ryan, I must admit. I'm typically very task oriented and my demeanor isn't super welcoming when Ryan walks into my office. But it wasn't until recently that Ryan and I discussed our work relationship. I tend to be overbearing and controlling, and frankly bossy to Ryan at work. Guilty (raises hand). But we learned it goes both ways. I gotta be less serious, and Ryan has to give me space. You may be disappointed with how our work relationship is, but honestly, it's best for our marriage. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we bulldoze over the other person with our personalities in ways that aren't healthy. Ryan and I are diligently working towards being balanced not only in our marriage and personal life, but also at work.  

Whether you've been married 4 years,like us,or 40 years, I think you always want to continually renew the love you have for your spouse. That looks different as you pass through different seasons, but you have to stop and evaluate your life sometimes. Just last week I was going through some papers and I found some loose notebook pages I had saved. It read at the top 'Life Check-Up.' It covered different areas such as finances, emotional health, physical health, goals, potential projects, potential purchases, etc.

If you feel like your marriage needs a little evaluating here are some of the questions we decided to ask the other person (afterwards we read each other's answers out loud). This totally brought us up to speed on where the other person was at and what we both needed to work on.
  • What are your 5 love languages. List them in order of importance to you in how you receive love. Also give examples!
  • What do you need more of from your spouse?
  • What goals do you have for marriage in the next 6 months?
  • What areas of life do you want to be more excellent at?
  • How can your spouse help you become more excellent in those areas?
  • How would you rate your date life with your spouse (1 being the worst, 10 being the greatest)?
  • How could you make it better?
  • Name 5 things you wanna do before the end of the year.
  • Name 3 couples you want to have dinner with in the next 3 months.
One of the bigger items we discussed was our finances. That's not typically something people want to talk about. However, if you are on the same page in this area, there will be so much more unity that you'll find throughout your marriage. Ryan and I had to work on some difficult conflicts concerning finances, but we came out united after the discussion. We also got to dream a little. We talked about the things we are currently saving for, our plan to pay off our mortgage and car notes, and we also talked about potential projects around the house as well as purchases we'd like to make in the future. There is something about having it on paper as a reminder of our conversation that is really great. 
I hope everyone can glean a little something from this for the sake of their relationship or marriage. And as always, we are all a work in process,so just do your best and know that it's okay to evaluate and reevaluate for the sake and health of your relationships! 

​Love y'all!
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New body, new niece & nephew, new car!

5/16/2017

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​I guess I didn’t leave much mystery as to what this post was going to be about, but goodness, some pretty cool things have been happening, and it’s about time I blogged again!
 
So I am 26 years old, no ailments, no allergies, and not on medication – I just have lacked in the area of heart health and a balanced diet. Having said that, around the end of February my discipline was challenged when I made it up in my mind that I would lose 20lbs.  Let me start by saying, this process hasn’t been fun. Rewarding, but uh, not so fun. I have been able to track what I eat with an app called LoseIt, which has been incredibly helpful in showing me how to make better choices and learning the nutritional facts of my food. So far, it has been about two and half months, and I have lost 13lbs. Pretty stinking proud of myself, and the most interesting part, little to no exercise was involved. It was simply making better choices with my diet. Of course, my heart needs to get healthy too and I have added circuit exercises 1-2 times times a week. Eventually I will probably add more exercise so that my body is not only heart healthy but strong. So if you see me deny a brownie or the most delicious buttery biscuit, it’s just me trying to be good. Now don’t get me wrong, after losing most of the weight, I have learned how to make room for treats and things that I would normally miss out on. I just have more self-control and awareness that keeps me consistent with my goals. I encourage you to try out the app if that is something you are working towards. It takes a little effort to add your meals in everyday, but it’s great to see the stats as well as the progress!
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It was the most pleasant surprise when towards the end of last year, I had found out that three of my five siblings were expecting a baby!  My brother Jonah and his wife, Deb, had the first granddaughter of the Nelson family, miss Lilia Grace. She is a doll, and I can only imagine how her three older brothers will protect and watch out for her. We weren’t able to be there when she was born, but Ryan and I are super stoked to go visit them in Arizona this summer! We can squeeze and hug her all we want and get a chance to see all the kiddos in their element!
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My oldest brother Gabe and his wife, Cindy, just recently had their first child.  A little context, but their newest addition is quite the miracle.  Aaron Noah Nelson, was born on Monday, May 8th at 7:18am, 4lbs 1oz and 18inches long. This little guy came about 2 months early. It was not what these new parents were expecting, but after she delivered, and he was in the NICU, Aaron was breathing on his own within four days! And I am pray things are only going to steadily and speedily get better, and oh what a wonderful day it will be when they get to bring him home! Super excited for them!!
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So, two babies down, one more niece to go! It’s so exciting to see my family grow! Plus my good friend, Ingrid, is expecting her first child, and I can’t wait to meet him too! Luckily, I’ll be making a little weekend getaway towards the end of the summer to love on all the babies and their mommas!
Now, the newest addition to MY life, is black, shiny, and has 35,000 miles on it. Yes, I am the proud owner of a 2014 Toyota Camry thanks to Supreme Toyota! Up until this point I don’t think I ever owned a car that was less than 10 years old.  I followed in the footsteps of my parents, and my pocketbook at the time, that basically made sure the most important thing was that the car could get me from point A to point B.  However, there were some features I experienced with the first car I test drove, that kind of spoiled me. It was a white 2013 Nissan Altima with extra bells and whistles like a sunroof, back up cam, navigation, etc. However, investigating that particular year and model, the engine had some negative reviews on it. And unfortunately, we had to continue our search. We test drove a Corolla …meh. But a few days later, there were two cars that seemed to be contenders, a black 2014 Camry, and a white 2016 Nissan Altima. Now, I am partial to white cars, I love how clean and bright they are. But I am not usually one that buys for looks. Like I said earlier, I usually aid on the side of practically. So that white Nissan kept drawing me. Yet the Toyota was a smarter choice. I felt like I was on an episode of the Bachelorette. Indecisive me had to take the two cars on a final date to see which one was best for me. I had to sleep on the choice, and would make a decision the next day.
 
I literally teeter tottered about my decision, right up until I test drove the two vehicles. I test drove the Altima, and then the Camry. Most everyone I asked was telling me their opinion was that I should get the Camry, and yet the Altima was so gorgeous and just seemed like it felt more mature than the Camry.  As Ryan was looking around inside both cars after the test drive, I was talking with Samantha, our salesperson, and told her ‘This is crazy, but I think I like the Camry better.” It felt comfortable, it reminded me so much of my previous Camry and I just knew I would be more of a confident driver in it. Yes, it wasn’t the color I would’ve liked, but ultimately I didn’t want to sacrifice that comfort for looks.

So... tuh-dahhh! And now Ryan can enjoy the ever luxurious ride of my 2003 Toyota Camry.
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Learning how to Dream

3/28/2017

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There are few moments we choose to quiet ourselves and just be still. To listen, to pursue, to contemplate and investigate the things we struggle to understand or things we know there must be more of.

My focus unofficially for about the last 6 months, but more so now than ever, has been dreams. I'm not talking about crazy dreams where you scream and no one hears you or the ones where you can magically fly. I'm talking about the desires that you have inside you that you long to pursue.

See the problem with that is that somewhere along the way... I think I stopped dreaming. I grew out of being a care free child into an adult with responsibilities and bills to pay. Yikes, that makes being an adult seem like such a drudgery! That's not exactly the right picture to paint. I have an amazing job that although is financially not where I receive the reward, I receive a fulfillment knowing that I get to be the hands and feet that help build the Kingdom of God -- for me that might look like -- a paid bill or productive meeting, a successful Sunday morning service or leaders that receive timely and insightful communication for upcoming events. This is probably what a majority that know me would expect me to say. And to the average person, this doesn't seem like fulfilling tasks. And sometimes, they aren't fun tasks -- sometimes it's just plain old work. But it is work with a purpose. Luckily, I'm not just a note taker, I find myself in brainstorming sessions for the creative department, or mulling around ideas for upcoming games and fun for the serve teams, or thinking of decor elements for special events. Yes, there are fun tasks. Lol, and with the small staff that is there everyday -- there are most certainly fun people, and fun moments.

Let me get back on track --- dreams. I have submitted myself to God's dreams, and part of that is fulfilling the dreams He has for our local church body, in all the ways I described above. However, the questions I've been pondering for the past 6 months have finally been made clear. The answers, definitely have yet to be seen... but what I desire to know is this. 
 
What dreams are unique to me? 
Have there been dreams lying dormant?
Have I shut down my imagination to dream big -  for the benefit of others as well as myself?
Have I made excuses for why my dreams aren't valid or why there'd be no room for them in my life? 

In some crazy way, I feel like I've convinced myself that my personality just isn't a dreamer... I just want the cold hard facts. How is a dream suppose to work anyway? Who has to do the work? How long is it gonna take? What will it cost me? Do true dreamers ask these types of questions? 'Cause if they don't, perhaps I am not a conventional dreamer. But even still I have this longing in me that wants to remember what dreams I had for myself as a child, and also what new dreams await me as an adult! It's bit of a tug of war situation at the moment, but these are all thoughts coming from a mind that is trying to process. I shouldn't disregard the process, but I shouldn't be afraid of the answers either. I'm not sure how long it will take to find the answers to these questions. Maybe a day, maybe a week --- maybe it's a journey that I'll find the answer but be uncertain of how to walk it out. All of these are possibilities, but I'm thankful to be finally asking the right questions. And now the search is on to see what those dreams are and how the passions and desires God has given me are to be transformed into fulfilled dreams. 
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Grace to Live in the Present

8/22/2016

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The idea of living in the present has been on my mind for a few weeks, but it intensified over the last week with the extreme disaster of the overwhelming flooding of thousands of homes and businesses in Louisiana. A million emotions rushed over the countless individuals that either watched from television screens, Facebook feeds, or simply encountered the flood waters first hand in the most devastating way. My home went untouched and for that I'm incredibly grateful, but there was this unsettling feeling I experienced that was unique to the timing of this storm hitting last weekend. You see, my husband and I were already scheduled to leave for vacation to visit my family in Wisconsin only days after the weekend of the most intense flooding Louisiana has ever seen. Had I not chosen to live in the present, I could've ruined what was supposed to be a precious time with my family who I only get to see twice a year. My heart was torn as I considered all the work yet to be done in assisting those affected by the flood, but where my physical hands couldn't be, my heart was. Not long into our vacation I felt such an unction to intercede for specific families and areas that were affected, the feeling could not be ignored. It was in the few moments I found myself alone in a part of my parents house, that I called on God to deliver strength, endurance, and hope to the people of Louisiana.
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Prayer is by no means powerless, and I almost chose to believe that although I couldn't physically be there, that I was letting everyone in my community down. God is taking everyone near and far and empowering and guiding them to help in ways that He knows they're able. The devil can try to belittle and deter your helpful response, and try to make you believe it's not enough. With whatever your contribution (praying, donating items, serving of your time, etc), you have to realize you are a part of a unity that is unprecedented in this country right now. It is such an encouragement that speaks volumes of what pure love can do.
I can't fully put myself into the shoes of those that have lost everything to this flood, but I assume that the choice of living in the present is both a scary and difficult thing. As photos are lost, possessions are ruined, and life has to restart, the strength they need to sort through the mess, isn't just physical, it's emotional. I pray that God can guide them to a place of resting in the present. God has been, is, and always will be good, and however we can find His goodness for each day, no matter how tragic, that is what hope looks like. Hope is saying that there is trust for better days ahead, but knowing that regardless, God will supply your need for this day, this moment, this present circumstance.

Some of you reading this may live no where near the south and be so detached from the idea of flooding, but it's not just natural disasters that make us face this decision of do I live in the present or do I worry about the future, or long for the past? And please don't misinterpret this, there are times in which reminiscing in the past is therapeutic and healing. A real life example of that was highlighted during this very trip. A good friend of mine that I used to work with in my hometown recently suffered a great loss. Her younger brother, only 19 years of age, died in a car accident on Friday, August 19th. The fond memories she shared in the past with her brother was one thing that has instilled comfort in the face of tragedy. My heart breaks for her and her family, and I pray God brings peace as they take it one day at a time.

When our past is trying to operate and dictate our present in an unhealthy way, sometimes it's because we let it. We can revel in it too long to the point at which we are paralyzed to move forward. That can be with hurts from people, missed opportunities, and even unresolved conflict. Sometimes we can be too scared to fail and our future looks just as scary as our past. That's not healthy either. God has and I believe will continue to teach us how to truly balance our lives in not only thought and deed, but also our perception. It's my desire to understand what it means to learn from the past, stay steadfast in the present, and be trusting in the future.

I hope this sparks something in whoever you happen to be and wherever you find yourself in life right now. It's a daily choice to live in the present, and although it isn't easy, it's a choice that we will ultimately benefit from. My prayer for everyone reading is that you seek out what those daily choices look like uniquely for you, and that you face them with confidence, knowing God is ever present and faithful to meet your needs, from the past all the way to the future.

As a resource to continue on this thought, I encourage you to look into the YouVersion devotional entitled 'Savor' by Shauna Niequest. And I also look forward to diving into her book "Present over Perfect" in the near future.

Love y'all,
Audrey

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3 Years of Mawwage

6/4/2016

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​Look at that three years of marriage for us already! This past year of marriage has been nothing short of busy, crazy, fun, challenging, and a blessing. Since all those adjectives cover a wide range of emotions and experiences, I’d say that just about every year of marriage can be described that way most of the time, since we all walk through different seasons at different times. 

As anniversaries can just be another day to some people, I can honestly say this day was extremely thoughtful and it made my heart more grateful for the decision I made three years ago to marry Ryan. I told Ryan he could plan the festivities, well, alright, I’ll be honest, I told Ryan TO plan the festivities. I wanted to put my planning skills on hold and see what Ryan would prepare in celebration. 

I think there are some no brainer ways to make for an awesome anniversary: 
  • Make a memory (whether your plans turn out great or you get rained out, make a story for the kids)
  • Find adventure (even if it’s local)
  • Try something new (new restaurant, new recipe, new city)
  • Be intentional about making great conversation wherever you are or whatever you’re doing (this is the time where you can reflect on life and even dream together of what’s ahead or what goal you want to accomplish.) -- put away the phone as MUCH as possible, unless you’re trying to document the experience of course. :)

Anyway, Ryan did a phenomenal job by planning pretty much a whole day for us together. He sent me away the day before because he needed some time to ‘prepare’ for the next day. We woke up that morning after sleeping in and managed to wipe all the eye boogies from our eyes to pretty ourselves up to go to a surprise location. I was contemplating closing my eyes all the way from our house to the wherever we arrived so I would be truly surprised as to where we were going, but for fear of falling back asleep in the car, I just tried to stay bright eyed the whole way. First familiar direction we took was headed east, so the common option would be Covington or Mandeville…. As we approached the Mandeville area we arrived closer to the lakefront, and then come to find out we pulled up to a delicious breakfast spot of what was previously ‘Another Broken Egg Cafe’ to what is now called LaLou. Pretty much the same menu and everything they had before, they just changed their name. If someone wants to explain why, I’d love to know, but either way, the food was DELICIOUS! And I could not get enough of the coffee, I think I had three cups before we left. So first surprise, success!
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Our time at breakfast left us delightfully stuffed, and afterwards Ryan disclosed a little bit of his last surprise of the day, but it was no offense to me as I suggested that we get the ingredients for the (surprise) dinner locally. So we headed to the local butcher in Mandeville, Saia’s, and then proceeded to the Covington Farmer’s Market for the rest of our goodies. We had picked up everything we needed and headed back home to our puppy to see what the next surprise was!
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I was very suspicious as Ryan leads me out to the backyard all the way out to the shed, and says ‘Heyyy, you know all the lumber I got the other day to make that raised garden bed? Wellll.. *he opens up the shed door* it wasn’t for a raised garden bed!’ Hahaha, alright, my stunned face was like ‘Oooookkaaaay, so what was it for?’ He said ‘Your very own picnic table you wanted! We are going to build it together!’ 
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Alright, super cool, this was on my wish list, and all his ‘preparation’ the day before was him cutting and sanding down all the proper pieces that would make up the picnic table. So we didn’t waste anytime and started to load all the lumber up and bring it out to where we would assemble it. Of course Eva wanted to help several times, but instead she just checked up on us to see if we were doing it right. Now in all fairness, Ryan probably did 90% of the work, but I stayed outside the whole time and waited to see how I could help, and it was hot and sweaty, but it was a really cool experience and memory. I felt like we were a team while building it, which is how marriage should feel, right? Surprise number two -- two thumbs up --- success!!!
So not so slightly surprise number three was preparation for dinner. After Ryan had been sweating his butt off all afternoon, I saw all the ingredients for dinner and wondered how I could help jazz it up a bit. So I channeled my inner ‘Miss Mary Ann’ (my mom) and started searching for some tips to add to our steak dinner. So I figured we could grill the corn, and we could make some homemade herb compound butter. YUM! That butter was a winner, and it totally brightened up the flavor of everything on the table. Plus, I made mint passion tea and homemade lemonade. I had never been so excited to eat, everything was looking great! And our newly finished picnic table was beckoning us while we prepared dinner. Ryan did a great job with the steaks, he might say otherwise, but they were super tender and if they seemed any bit overcooked it was redeemed by the garlic herb butter to dip it into!
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After I had set out everything for dinner, I was genuinely surprised by one last thing Ryan had up his sleeve. I walked out to the picnic table and there was a picture frame that had my favorite bible verse on it. Not JUST the verse either. I had explained to Ryan why Psalm 136:1 is my favorite. The whole chapter is dedicated to showing the greatness of God’s love, but the best part is that no matter how you say it, ‘His faithful love endures forever’ --- no matter what word you choose to accent, HIS faithful love endures forever, His FAITHFUL love endures forever, etc. It will just magnify and show you another facet of why His love is so great. It’s great ‘cause it’s His love, and it’s faithful, and it’s love, and it endures, and it will endure forever! Sorry if this takeaway is a bit redundant, but it’s just a personal revelation that I love about the verse. So the finished product was a gold foil Ryan had made for me that displayed visually everything I love about Psalm 136:1. Last surprise of the day --- perfect!
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You know, Ryan’s anniversary plans all went as, well, as planned. But I’d like to think that even if the extravagance of our dinner was rained out, we’d still make the most of it. I was asked by our good friend what I had learned after three years of marriage. It’s not anything super spectacular, it was just an honest answer, but I told him ‘Well, I learned that we still love each other and we still bicker and fight, but we’ve learned to choose our battles.’ Kind of a negative debbie downer answer, but life happens and it isn’t always roses and perfect. Love is a choice, and sometimes you don’t feel like loving, but you do anyway. Sometimes your plans don’t go as planned, but it’s all in what you make it. That’s something I’ve personally learned from Ryan. He has brought me back to reality many a times when my expectations were set on perfection. And marriage is just like anything else in life, it’s what you both put into it. Are you acting like a team or you being a one-man team that is struggling to make it without a partner? It’s a million humbling moments all wrapped up into a relationship that was designed to be unbreakable and incredible. So here is to many more years of loving, laughing, and learning with the one who I love so very much.


Love,​

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Unexpected reminders: when God's goodness meets you right where you are.

3/15/2016

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I feel like I've written about this before, but at the same time I'm glad that it keeps coming up, because we all need a reminder of the goodness of God. So smack dab in the middle of my day as I was running an errand, minding my own business, in an instant I was met with a rush of awe. I wasn't looking for it, it just hit me like a freight train. As I got into my car, I could feel that the temperatures here in Louisiana are now rising as the season is changing. Even though Louisiana really only has two major seasons, warm and ridiculously hot. I had been so used to the mild temperature that we had been having that for it to be this warm again was weird. Anyway, the warm breeze brushed past me and immediately it brought me back to when I first moved to Louisiana after living in Wisconsin my whole life. June 10th, 2013 - It was a scary and big transition for me. It took a lot of nights of tears and not knowing if I'd ever really feel at home here in Louisiana. I would say it took a solid year and half of giving it time, trusting God, looking forward instead of back, and growing relationships that would be some of the closest ones I would ever have.


After that considerable amount of period of time, I was confident to say Louisiana felt like home. Now before my mom reads this and wonders what happened to Wisconsin being my only home, I have to state something that sheds some light on how I feel. I've said it once before, and it still holds true. I've found a home in Louisiana, but now I have two homes. Both Wisconsin and Louisiana are my home, they are both unique, and it's the people that I love so dearly in both places that make me cherish it enough to call home. Wisconsin being where I grew up and built all of my childhood memories, it's no wonder that I hold a lot of sentimental value to it. It's where parents and most of my siblings live, so I where your family is, it's no doubt, that's home. And my family is so important to me: to know that my sister and brother-in-law are coming with their son to visit in exactly one week from today makes me overjoyed. That is the first immediate family to visit me since the almost 3 years that I've lived here. It means A LOT! Louisiana

So when I reflected upon the fact that God has carried me and shown His grace and goodness towards me in the last 3 years, I can't helped be overwhelmed with gratefulness. I'm thankful for every relationship He has brought in my life both near and far.
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Keeping up with the Mercier's

10/24/2015

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Look at the time!

Wow. I'm sorry to have left the blog scene for almost two months now! You would have thought I fell off the face of the earth! Not really, but it seems writing for the blog has slipped my mind somehow. I apologize for the delay, and I'll try not to make a habit of it. I have plenty to update everyone with and happy to do so. Let's do this!!

Birthday Trip to Wisconsin!

Naturally I was counting down the days 'til our fall trip to Wisconsin. It had been 9 months since we were there last. We actually don't usually visit in the fall, but I made an exception for the fact that one of my best friends was getting married. And what a beautiful bride she was! I have to say Ingrid and Justin are a really great match, and Justin is one lucky guy to have Ingrid as a wife! We had a super refreshing visit. From all the details of their big day to seeing all the familiar faces at the wedding, it was a fantastic time. It was an honor to stand in the wedding as a bridesmaid. Those girls were so sassy and fun, and the groomsmen had plenty of jokes the whole time. By the way, a funny thing, Ryan had to piece together his outfit for the wedding by borrowing my brother's suit coat -- my brother is known for wanting everything fitted, which Ryan can appreciate. And then he rummaged through my dad's tie collection and found a knitted tie, which has come back in style these days. So he was looking pretty handsome I must say!
For the majority of our visit the weather was gorgeous; warm the first day and perfectly mild the rest. My desire for the four seasons hasn't died off; I love the cooler weather!! It was a full house the first day when all the kids got to spend Labor Day together and have quality time that not only brings joy to my heart but especially my parents who care to see us all together. While Ryan and my dad had some 'manly bonding' time one day, my mom and I got to spend a little time in Wauwatosa at the coolest place, Le Reve Patisserie & Cafe. It had such a humble yet elegant menu, and desserts and pastries that you could not help but want to order one of everything. On our way back to the car we stopped in Soaps and Scents, and my mom bought me THE BEST CANDLE EVER! I never really was a candle burning kinda person, until I started working at the church and enjoyed the scents in my office. This candle is the bomb, it is called Meditation Room by Lafco. I'm telling you, if you like fresh scents, this is like smelling a garden in your home.
Ryan and I managed to have a little date night in downtown Milwaukee. We started with coffee, took a stroll around the Historic Third Ward, and even stopped into Anthropologie and scored this super cute apron! Afterwards we ate dinner at a steakhouse called Moe's. It was per my brother and brother-in-law's recommendation for the best steak. We both ordered an 8oz filet, and as Ryan cut into it he was greatly anticipating the pay off of the rave reviews we heard. And boy did it live up to the hype! Oh man, I can officially say that was the best steak I've ever had. So good, and great atmosphere too. What a perfect night with my awesome husband!

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One of the best parts of the trip was the quality time I got to spend every morning with my nephew Will. As my sister Anna and her husband were staying with my parents, it didn't matter how early Will decided to start stirring and making noises, his cute little smiley face was worth waking up early for. That kid is adorable, for real. And he is walking full on now -- getting into more things, and I'm sure he is showing Anna and Chris his even more adventurous and curious side.
 I will never get sick of the beautiful land that my parents have. It's a humble 2.5 acres on a hill that has grown to be a utopia with grape vines, large vegetable garden, and flowers and landscape that make you never want to leave! Let's not forget Holy Hill, which is even more picturesque and we have made it a tradition to visit every time we come. It's a few minutes away. Check out this video I found recently of an amazing aerial view of it!! Click here.
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My dad has a lot more time on his hands with being 'semi-retired'. But he doesn't hesitate to fill that time by reading, researching, experimenting, and trying out new things he otherwise wouldn't have time for. Something he has always made a priority of, full-time to now the retirement pace, is his devotional time with God. I was walking outside when I noticed his arsenal of books laying on the patio table. He is a wise man, who prays for all of us kids all the time. I know his example of keeping God close to your heart, mind, and decisions has really spoken volumes to me growing up.
My good-byes this time were given a bit more easily as I knew we would be back for Christmas. And it's now 58 days 'til we are there, and we hoping there is snow this time!

Best Birthday SURPRISE -- ever!

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I am always ecstatic about my birthday when it comes around, and if there is one thing that I love even more, it's surprises! Ryan had told me we were gonna go out, but I had no idea where or what we were doing. It was the day before my 25th birthday and we were sitting around the house, because Ryan explicitly said 'We can't leave 'til 6:30'. My stomach was growling and it wasn't til the last 15 minutes did I get antsy and ask 'Can we just leave nooowww??' Those few short minutes passed and we hopped in the car. From the direction we were going I had an inkling of where it could be that he was taking me. We pulled into the Hammond Research Center, which I had fawned over the scenery the last time we were there. Nothing but gardens everywhere! We started to walk around and observe all the gorgeous flowers in bloom. I was thinking.. alright is this just a stroll, or does he have something up his sleeve? We approached a gazebo which I remembered from last time... I was thinking .. I betcha he has something set up there. When we got closer, the gazebo was empty. I wasn't disappointed but I thought well, this is still beautiful and I'm so glad to be here with him. We kept making our way through the maze of flowers, and Ryan says 'Hey, what's that?' and pointed in a direction up ahead. I was confused, I wasn't sure what he was pointing at, until we got closer and TA-DAH! It was the cutest little picnic for two! I was so pleasantly surprised, and come to find out our friends had helped prepare the meal and set it up for Ryan all sneaky like to help him pull off the surprise! Thanks Jason and Sarah! And a big thanks to my husband who truly knows me and pulled out all the stops just for me on my birthday. Love you!!!! 

 Seasons of change

In the end of August we heard some news that caused a large transition that happened rather quickly at the church. We moved out of the building that we were renting and moved back into our old building. It happened in about a week and half because that was all the time allotted after we found out the building had been leased. And our first Sunday back in our original building was not only my birthday but we flew out to WI as planned that very night. Crazy times! Although God has guided The Harbor through it, and we are continuing to move forward. If you wanna hear the full story. I had the opportunity to pen the whole experience on our church's blog. Check out part 1 and part 2 of the story.

To Tortuga WE GO!

So, the weather is slightly living up to this season we call 'fall', but it's in the low 80's some days. A couple cool fronts here and there, but I won't complain -- it's bound to feel like fall sooner or later. We took the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors while the weekend had some mild temperature. And our hiking buddies were none other than our good friends -- The Grangers! We took about 1.5 hour drive to Tunica Hills (or Tortuga as Ryan calls it) in Mississippi. With the lack of rain the waterfalls were more like trickling fountains, but the hike was pretty enjoyable. We encountered a handful of banana spiders. I will spare you the trouble and refrain from posting a picture for your peace of mind. Our lunch spot was near a ledge that overlooked the beautiful forest. We took the 'primitive' trail -- in which we found out we were not gonna make it all the way through before dark. Alas, we turned around a quarter of the way through, but rightfully so, I was exhausted (shhh, don't tell Ryan I said that)! It was a fun trip, with a lot of laughs, and naturally a few inside jokes formed along the way. Good times.

Everyone's growing up!!

Everytime I check social media, I see my little nephews in Arizona not so little anymore. That is one of the cutest families ever. My brother Jonah and sister-in-law, Deborah are blessed with three little boys, Owen, Everett, and Amos. Aren't they adorable! I can't wait to see them again sometime, we miss them so so much!
Plus our nephew Cole is all grown up now going to school, and his sister Ellie too! These kids are opposites though! It's funny to see their personalities grow, and especially Ellie, she is quite the sassy one. And Cole is a bucket of laughs and handful of smiles. Lance and Kristina, you make cute kids!! And Jack is cute too :P

Anniversaries all around

October will go down in the books as a momentous month. October 18th marked my sister and brother-in-law's 6 year wedding anniversary, which was also the day Ryan and I met. What a day that was! And in the end of October last year, we had moved into our home in Ponchatoula. We have made our adjustments by now to make it into a cozy place for us. Still always something being tweaked and worked on, but all just improvements. Also it was around this time that I started working at the church, and Ryan went to go work a temporary 3-week job in Indiana for an oil company.  When he returned he started working right alongside me. That was kinda a rough time of transition while he was away, but it was an investment for our finances that was very helpful to us.  It's crazy how this past year has really made me grateful for what we've accomplished and how we've grown. I really am excited for what is ahead with our jobs at the church. We love the people we serve and it's an honor to have an amazing Pastor and lead team supporting us as we work alongside them. 

Adventures on the water

Recently, we had a retreat with our lead team from church, and it was out on the Tickfaw River at a camp. Throughout our time there we took the little paddleboat out to venture into the swamp. The last day of the retreat we managed to get the Grangers to come with us to the beauty of the bayou. Well, when we pushed off the dock, let's just say we weren't making record breaking speeds. We needed to find a way to redistribute our weight because the four us some how weighted the boat down to where we could have probably taken on water at any moment. Have I ever mentioned that falling in swamp water is like my biggest fear?? No worries, we didn't have any spills, but it sure was fun to make our way slowly but surely through the small passages of water just off the river. We had our own little mini adventure -- it was great!
We have our own little body of water right outside our yard -- it's a pond that is a little bit bigger than a football field. Seeded with fish, we only just recently have discovered the wildlife underneath the water. Ryan has found a little hobby in going out and casting his rod into the water. And something that I have been BEGGING Ryan to do for a good two months is to patch the fiberglass canoe that was lent to us by a good friend. We took it out yesterday and had a great time on the water while the clouds shaded us from the sun. No bites on the line though, maybe I'm bad luck. Oh well, it was a great morning ride in the canoe. 

Til next time...

Thanks for sticking it out 'til the end. I had plenty to say and plenty of photos to show for it. Hope you are having a wonderful fall so far! 'Til next time!
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The Friend Monologues: The sassy friend.

8/23/2015

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Being friends with her is like living out the life of your favorite comedy series. My husband, as many of you may know, is a very hilarious and rambunctious individual, but honestly...he doesn't hold a candle to her effortless ability to diffuse tension, create laughter and build memories. Now she sounds like a constant ball of sunshine that burns brightly day in and day out. But the reality is we all fall short of perfection and while our personalities may be bright and perky most of the time we also have rough moments in life, that sometimes overshadow our sunshine self.

This also makes her a brave friend. A friend that in the light of tiring schedules or stressful circumstances, she stands strong. And even if she can't stand strong, she can rest assured she has friends that will stand for her and be a support. How could we not, she is the light and energy in our lives!

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I tend to live life on the safe side and have never really been the outspoken type. For that reason alone, I feel that my life wouldn't be as exciting or hilarious if she wasn't in it. I can recount the memories, the quotes, and every inside joke that has been engraved into my mind.

Sometimes we need that balance in life when it comes to who our friends are. If you find yourself as the spunky and sassy friend, you'd be wise to find yourself a friend that can keep you moving forward and help you make wise choices. Or if you're like myself, where risk and embarrassment are your worst nightmare, you'll thank yourself later to have that spunky friend. You need that someone to drag you on the dance floor, try something new, or just be spontaneous! We can all benefit from surrounding ourselves with those that may be opposite or just have a different strengths than our own.

Take a moment, think of that sassy, spunky friend. Post their photo on Instagram or Facebook with the hashtag #sassyfriend And just thank them for their spunk and fun! We all need to let loose and have fun, life's too short to be so serious.

Love Y'all!
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The Friend Monologues: The level-headed friend.

8/15/2015

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I would say everyone deserves a level-headed friend, but some would say life sometimes has them in short supply.

Not to say this is my only level-headed friend, but she certainly has withstood change, trial, and life's surprises with a genuine and humble heart.

She and I would meet for coffee having effortless conversations that were life giving, transparent and left me thankful for our friendship.

I appreciate our friendship whether we hang out consistently or not, and she is a blessing to all who know her.

I will admit she is physically far away, but I won't ever forget the maturity and the fun that she has brought to my life.

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On top of those mature qualities -- she has the best dry humor! Smiles and laughs were always present when we would hang out. And she is infamous for having this quick-witted humor that kept our conversations so lively and fun.

Her constant humble and peaceful attitude withstood things like mutual friendships breaking, financial struggles, and taking on more within her household than she would have expected.

She's showed the heart of God to me, and I cannot tell you the value of having someone with such a great example of beauty and courage. She had great insight to me when Ryan and I were dating, and even before then. She had a definite influence on me, especially since that stage of my life represented so much transition amongst all the decisions I was making for my life.

If any of you have experienced a friend like this, don't ever let them go and make sure that they know how amazing they are!! Like seriously, let that person know right now how amazing they are! Text, call, Facetime, have coffee with them! Do whatever you have to and thank them for the amazing attributes and the sensible personality they have had that has help keep you grounded through out your friendship.

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The Friend Monologues : Intro

8/2/2015

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The one who wins everything.

The one who is always late.

The one who moved away.

The one who you never skip a beat with.

The one who always has a listening ear.

The one who always wants the last word.

The one who has a laugh that is funnier than the joke.

The one who eats everything and doesn't gain weight.

Everyone has THAT friend. Even mentioning some these types of friends, you are instantly thinking of someone you know. It's kind of amazing because if you think of it, when we compare our friends with someone else's, they may have different bodies but their personalities and habits can sometimes fit the same mold. 

I was bold enough to dream that one day I would write a book about this topic, but let's face it, I think the short term life of a blog post here and there is more the appropriate style than the marathon that is a book. 

So I guess you could say this is a memory bank and social experiment all wrapped up in one. And as I unravel my friendships I challenge you to do the same!

The process goes as such: pick a friend, past or present. Devote time in thinking about their attributes, their abilities, even their weird or crazy habits that involve the memories you've shared with them that make them so notable in your life. The result is that someone else will very likely have a friend that is identical in those areas.

I've come to realize whenever anyone uses the phrase 'Everyone has THAT friend' the thought that comes to mind is more often than not a negative connotation. However, it's not about the crazy annoying friends (although they exist) as much as it is about the friends that have made an impression on you. The friends that have maybe been your best friend and at times worst enemy, but ultimately they have impacted your life one way or another. 

Of course, the biggest challenge in taking on this idea is that I won't be naming names, but still doing my very best to include the characteristics of some of the most memorable people in my life. I may include some of the hardships or hurts, but in reality even though we have hurts from other people, we still all have the chance to move on from them and I hope to portray that in the most benevolent way possible. 

First up.....the level-headed friend. --- COMING SOON!
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    I am a homegrown Yankee and newlywed wife to an enthusiastic and energetic Southern man, Ryan. We love to share our life adventures, our advice, recipes, and aim to help others be the best version of themselves in the process.

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